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The history of the gay pride

Gay pride or LGBT pride refers to a world wide movement and philosophy asserting that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity. Gay pride advocates work for equal "rights and benefits" for LGBT people. The movement has three main premises: that people should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity, that sexual diversity is a gift, and that sexual orientation and gender identity are inherent and cannot be intentionally altered. Marches celebrating Pride (pride parades) are celebrated worldwide. Symbols of LGBT pride include the rainbow flag, the Greek lambda symbol, and the pink as well as black triangles reclaimed from their past use.

Do you remember the first gay pride , the stonewall story in NEw-York?

The Stonewall Inn gay bar (circa 2003), site of 1969 riots which led to the modern gay rights movement.On 28 June 1969, a group of LGBT people rioted following a police raid on the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar at 43 Christopher Street, New York City. Sylvia Rivera, a transgender rights activist and founding member of both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance, is credited by many as the first to actually strike back at the police and, in so doing, spark the rebellion. Further protests and rioting continued for several nights following the raid.

The Stonewall riots are generally considered to be the beginning of the modern gay rights movement.


Marchers in the 1970 Gay Pride march.Gay Liberation Front and Gay Activists Alliance in the early post-Stonewall era, coordinated the first year anniversary rally and then the "Christopher Street Gay Liberation Day March" (Archival footage of March) on June 28, 1970 to commemorate the first year anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion. First year anniversary marches organized by other groups were also held in San Francisco and Los Angeles in 1970.

Brenda Howard also originated the idea for a week-long series of events around what is now known as Pride Day; this became the first of the extended annual LGBT Pride celebrations that are now held around the world.

In New York and Atlanta the annual day of celebration to commemorate the Stonewall Riot came to be called Gay Liberation Day; in San Francisco and Los Angeles it was called Gay Freedom Day. Both names spread as more and more cities and towns started holding similar celebrations.

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the telectroscope: a new monument in NEw York

The Telectroscope, an enormous Victorian-looking contraption that allows the viewer to peer into a scope and look through a long tunnel all the way to England, was installed near the Brooklyn Bridge this week. An identical contraption was erected across the Atlantic, in London. And it works.

According to Gizmodo: "St George says in the 19th century his great-grandfather, Alexander Stanhope St George, built a trans-Atlantic tunnel from London to New York which was forgotten by time. The artist discovered his great-grandfather's plans recently and using the diagrams installed parabolic mirrors at both locations that reflect what's happening 3500 miles across the pond." Of course, the smoke and mirrors here has more to do with fiber optics and the internet transmitting a picture in real-time. But apparently, if you have a friend in London, you can sign up for a simultaneous look at one another from thousands of miles away. The Telectroscope will be open to the public from now until June 15.

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"Kevin Campion, a 30-year-old ship's captain from Seattle, doesn't mind if his lifesaving deed goes unrewarded, they said. 'He's a great guy and it's an amazing thing he did and actually I'm not surprised that he would do it,' said Kenn Christianson, the brother of Campion's stepmother, Sonya Campion. 'He's just not sure he wants the attention to be on him.' The hero whom relatives later identified as Campion was hailed as a surfing Superman after he rushed to the aid of drowning Brian Jordan, 37, on May 17. Jordan was pulled underwater while trying to retrieve his speedboat, which had come untied from a Coney Island pier...Campion was brought up in Washington State and is a professional sailing captain and biologist, his uncle Bill Kinyon told The News in an e-mail. He sailed a schooner in the Caribbean, studied poisonous frogs in Central America and has surfed around the globe, Kinyon said. Campion, who is single, was sailing from Florida to Maine when he stopped in New York."

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two men charged with sodomy

When the United States Supreme Court invalidated all state sodomy laws in the landmark 2003 Lawrence v. Texas ruling it didn't take those state laws off the books. Last night in my state, two men, in what appears to be a domestic dispute/sexual assault case that occurred in private, were charged by the police under the North Carolina's ridiculous "crimes against nature" law (CAN).

And, in the ultimate outrage - the police did not charge Flynn with sexual assault. As you read, the police captain 1) doesn't believe a sexual crime occurred; and 2) doesn't have a problem with arresting the men under this law, when everyone knows a heterosexual couple would never be charged with CAN.

A gay pride parade was held in Bucharest, Romania on Saturday, following demonstrations by nationalist and ultra-orthodox groups. It was watched over by approximately 1,200 police officers in riot gear:

"Two counter-demonstrations were held ahead of the parade. At one, members of a far-right group chanted 'Romania does not want you' in a protest they said was 'against sin'. Romania decriminalized homosexuality in 2001, but gay people often face hostility in this largely conservative country of 22 million where the powerful Orthodox church views homosexuality as a sin and a disease. Police said the gay rights march passed off without incident. 'It is encouraging,' riot police spokesman Marius Militaru told reporters. 'People are becoming aware that we are heading towards a degree of normality.' Last year riot police detained dozens of protesters who tried to break up a gay rights march."



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a stand for your love ipod

Rockridge the same company that announced the iPod stand is hoping to cash in on the iPhone-3G when it hits Japan. Though it is doubtful. Just insert the iPhone-3G into the aluminum stand which has a 90-degree pivot joint and dock-connector cut-out. The perfect accessory for watching movies for the iPhone aficionado. Also included in the box is a cable extension for connecting an external speaker or headphones. The iCooly for iPhone-3G will hit stores in Japan by mid July for 4980 Yen ($ 50).

dima bilan, eurovision winner for russia and nude performer

Russian television news bulletins on Sunday all began with reports about the victory.

Missed it? Watch video highlights here

Screaming teenage girls were shown dancing near Red Square in Moscow and celebrating in his native Caucasus region during the night.

'Victory for Russia'

"This is not just a personal success for Dima Bilan but another triumph for the whole of Russia," Mr Putin told the pop singer in a congratulatory message, Interfax news agency quoted his spokesman as saying.

Russia's Eurovision victory follows Russia's triumph in the world ice hockey championships and after Saint Petersburg Zenit won football's UEFA Cup.

"It's probably time for victories in Russia. This is an important victory. We've won hockey and football before but we've never won Eurovision," Iosif Prigozhin, a music producer, says on the Rossiya television channel.

Russia to host next year

Mr Medvedev called Bilan to congratulate him and says Eurovision 2009 would be held in Russia "at the highest level," Interfax reported.

Bilan was shown on television shouting "Russia! Russia! Russia!" to Mr Medvedev on a mobile phone before thanking the president for his call.

Bilan won the 53rd Eurovision song contest in Belgrade on Saturday with the ballad "Believe."

The victory was Russia's first in the pan-European event watched by more than 100 million television viewers around the world.

Street named after performer

In Bilan's native town of Ust-Dzheguta in the foothills of the Caucasus mountains of southern Russia, officials say they will name a street after the pop singer, Russian news agencies reported.

"I have received several hundred telephone calls congratulating Dima," Mustafa Batdyev, leader of the Kabardino-Balkaria province where Bilan was born, was quoted by Interfax as saying.

Arsen Kanokov, head of the neighbouring province of Kabardino-Balkaria where Bilan grew up, was quoted as saying: "We sincerely congratulate Dima Bilan.

"We were rooting for him. He's great and he showed a true will for victory.

"It's good to see Russia getting stronger and taking up leading positions in the world and not just in the field of art and sport," he says.

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My boyfriend and I have just decided to move permanently to San Francisco end of year.
We will miss PAris
:)

Out, proud and ready to go for gold

This medal favourite is taking a historic and courageous step: he's the first Australian to go to the Olympics declaring his homosexuality, writes Jessica Halloran.


Matthew Mitcham at the Sydney Aquatic Centre and in action, above right, at the Commonwealth Games in 2006.



MATTHEW MITCHAM is brave enough to dive from a 10-metre platform for Olympic gold and courageous enough to do what no Australian athlete has done.

When Mitcham balances on the Beijing diving tower this August, like all Australian Olympians, he will be hoping the ones he loves will be there to watch him.

The gold medal hopeful's journey has not been easy. Those close to him have seen Mitcham, 20, battle depression, retire in his teenage years after physical and emotional burn-out, then nine months later resume his sport and build himself into the champion he is today.

One person who has been by his side for the entire tumultuous journey is his partner, Lachlan.

Months out from the Games, Mitcham has taken the courageous step of revealing his sexuality to the media for the first time, in an exclusive interview with the Herald. He has also applied for a grant through a Johnson & Johnson Athlete Family Support Program to have Lachlan near him in Beijing.

"We can't afford for Lachlan to go at the moment," Mitcham said. "But Johnson & Johnson offer grants to go to Beijing and I've nominated Lachlan as the support person I want to go."

It's not only Lachlan who has helped Mitcham to Beijing. His coach, Chava Sobrino, had faith in him when no one else did and resurrected his career. Former athlete Sarina Bratton cares for him like a son and fellow diver Alex Croak is a constant sounding board and his best friend.

"That little support network has made my dream possible," Mitcham said. "It would have been impossible and I probably wouldn't have made it without their help."

Those who adore him could be watching Mitcham win gold after his performance just over a week ago in Fort Lauderdale. Mitcham stood 10 metres high with the fierce wind whistling in his ears and battling trying conditions. "When I was whizzing around, the sky is the same colour as the water. I was freaking out. It was the first time I had dived outside since I left the sport."

His performance was astonishing. Mitcham beat two top Chinese divers who will challenge him for gold. When he saw his four perfect 10s he whooped and leaped on the pool deck. Finally, the man who had battled anxiety and depression as a teenager, taking medication and seeing psychologists, had arrived on the world stage. And it proved the time he spent away from the sport last year had been worth it. Mitcham's premature retirement had been a chaotic and unusual time when he "partied" and lived without regimen.

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Barack announced an important decision for our campaign today.

Barack announced an important decision for our campaign today.

I want to add a little context to the video message you received earlier announcing that we will not participate in the public financing system for the general election.




Even though we stood to receive more than $80 million in taxpayer funding for our campaign, the system has been so gamed and exploited by our opponents that it is effectively broken.

John McCain, the Republican National Committee, and their allies in so-called 527 groups that raise and spend unlimited contributions are dedicated to manipulating this broken system to raise as much money as possible -- and they've proven that they're very good at it.

A top McCain adviser told MSNBC earlier this month, "now that we're in the general election, the RNC money counts, the DNC money counts. So the truth is today, John McCain has more cash on hand and more money than Barack Obama does."

In April alone, they raised nearly $45 million. That's more than our campaign and the Democratic National Committee combined. And that doesn't include the plans of 527 groups like the one called "Freedom's Watch," which has said it will spend as much as $250 million under Karl Rove's direction to attack and defeat Barack Obama.

To compete, Barack has put his faith in ordinary people giving only what they can afford. That's been the strategy of this campaign from the beginning, and more than 1,500,000 supporters like you have gotten us this far.

We have a historic opportunity to prove that a movement of ordinary people has the power to change the way political campaigns are funded. And we have a clear goal as we begin this new challenge: 50,000 people declaring their independence by making a donation before July 4th.

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Dont be kinky, this is a computer in his pants

Fashion and technology have been dancing with each other for years now. Sadly, it’s not been the kind of dancing you see in movies where everyone seems to know when to pop-n-lock and bust out the serious Justin Timberlake moves, that eventually ends in a triumphant “tada!” with hands lifted in the air. No, sadly this dance looks more like Paris Hilton biting her toe nails while opening a jar of pickles with her iPhone. It makes no sense and is just wrong! Which brings me to this latest WTF moment by designer Erik De Nijs, Erik has stitched together this eye catching pair of “Beauty and the Geek” jeans. These “modern shaped trousers which is often worn by youngsters..” are the perfect solution for Googling quick exits while running from the fashion police. Ah, but look closely! Now as you jump over fences and dodge barking dogs, you can take your chase music with you. Built into the knees are a pair of crotch rocking speakers that really add that extra level of excitement while sticking it to the man. Around back you have the added convenience of a back pocket for your “mouse”(which will be your only friend at this point). And for you gamers, there is even a joystick controller located just behind the front zipper. Looking at the key arrangement I am oddly compelled to want to write “poop” over and over again.


This—what's the word I'm looking for?—aberration of a pair of pants designed by Erik de Nijs (nope, me neither) is, I guess, designed for the Geek at Heart. They incorporate keyboard, mouse and a pair of knee-height speakers, and someone's already done the joke about the joystick being located behind the fly buttons. I'll refrain from my usual smutty observations except to say that, from where I'm standing, it looks as if there's dried money-shot all over the dude's lap.

I want one of these!
:)

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The next big challenge

Are you ready for the next big challenge of this campaign?

On Saturday, June 28th, more than a thousand supporters like you are hosting Unite for Change house meetings all across the country.

Ordinary people will be opening their homes and inviting friends and neighbors to come together and talk about our common cause of change.

See what Barack has to say about these Unite for Change events and sign up to host one in your community:




http://my.barackobama.com/uniteforchange

The goal of Unite for Change is to bring together people who supported all of the Democratic candidates, as well as Independents and even some Republicans. We want to reach out to anyone who is tired of the politics of the past and looking for new solutions to the challenges we're facing.

We'll talk about the common values we share and our strategy for bringing more people into the political process than ever before.

Hosting a Unite For Change house meeting will be easy and fun. Whether you are a seasoned campaign veteran or a first time volunteer, our staff will be there to help you every step of the way.

Sign up now to host a Unite For Change event on June 28th:

http://my.barackobama.com/uniteforchange

Since last February, we have worked to build a grassroots movement that will enable us to compete in all 50 states in the general election.

It's going to take all of us working together to bring about the change our country needs.

Help us grow this movement and Unite For Change:

http://my.barackobama.com/uniteforchange

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10 First Date Tips for Men

THis article has ben primarily written for men and women
But humans are humans.
You should get some tips
:)

Men often complain that women are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most women are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired, safe, and inspired. These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs... forward!
#1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is when you've both decided that you'd like to get together for more than a quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.
Romantic Rule: Starbucks doesn't count!
#2: A long lead time.
“Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance.”
Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. They know that women like to be treated like they're too in demand to have huge holes in their social calendars, (even if you have intel that would suggest otherwise!) You'll create romantic tension by giving her several days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret ingredient of seductive success... anticipation.
Romantic Rule: Create romance by planning in advance for it.
#3: Actions speak louder than words. Women know that men invest in the things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal, be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are insultingly casual, it's a clear sign that you're withholding your approval from her. Women will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often shoo you away without further ado. You don't have to spend big bucks, but if you like her, why not come up with something that will delight her?
Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have for her!
#4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most women needlessly anxiety. If you men had any idea about the pre-date regime that women go through to get ready for a high priority date, you'd all be much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late, she'll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn't show it.
Romantic Rule: Having good manners will make her feel like you're a great bet, and not a deranged stranger.
#5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It's bad form for a man to keep a woman waiting in general, but especially so on a first date. This often puts women into a state of "dressing disorder." When men are late, most women will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She'll then blame this on you, the tardy man, who should've arrived on time to avert this crisis!
Romantic Rule: If you'll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her of your new ETA as soon as you can. Most women l appreciate extra time to fluff-up before you ring their bell.
#6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately.
“Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention.”
Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No matter how hot or how homely, she'll want to know that you find her fetching if she's agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss her a compliment. Try the old standby "You look great" or the new metrosexual classic, "Love your shoes" immediately upon your arrival. You'll have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point.
Romantic Rule: Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.
#7: Woman are suckers for a man with a plan. Women love men who have the ability to care for them and about them. It's always a good sign when a man has made reservations because it's proof that you're not winging it. When you take control, it's a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The typical woman will also be wary of the man who asks in a whiny voice what she'd like to do.
Romantic Rule: Women assume that men who don't make reservations for them, have reservations about them!
#8: Pick up the check. If you're wondering who should pick up the first check. Please consider that women spend wads of money on first dates: there's the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming), lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It's an investment for women to just show up.
Romantic Rule: The very least you can do is to pick her up and feed her. She's exhausted!
#9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don't weenie out and say "I'll call you." Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and say, "Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you." That'll signal it's a wrap.
#10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door, look her in the eyes, say "I had an amazing time tonight" and move in for the perfect nightcap... a goodnight kiss. If she turns her cheek, don't despair! She may not be ready for a liplock just yet. Tell her you want to see her again and set up your next date right then and there.

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New York to Back Same-Sex Unions From Elsewhere

ALBANY — Gov. David A. Paterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada.

In a directive issued on May 14, the governor’s legal counsel, David Nocenti, instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere “should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union.”

The revisions are most likely to involve as many as 1,300 statutes and regulations in New York governing everything from joint filing of income tax returns to transferring fishing licenses between spouses.

In a videotaped message given to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, Mr. Paterson described the move as “a strong step toward marriage equality.” And people on both sides of the issue said it moved the state closer to fully legalizing same-sex unions in this state.

“Very shortly, there will be hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and probably thousands and thousands and thousands of gay people who have their marriages recognized by the state,” said Assemblyman Daniel O’Donnell, a Democrat who represents the Upper West Side and has pushed for legalization of gay unions.

Massachusetts and California are the only states that have legalized gay marriage, while others, including New Jersey and Vermont, allow civil unions. Forty-one states have laws limiting marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

Legal experts said Mr. Paterson’s decision would make New York the only state that did not itself allow gay marriage but fully recognized same-sex unions entered into elsewhere.

The directive is the strongest signal yet that Mr. Paterson, who developed strong ties to the gay community as a legislator, plans to push aggressively to legalize same-sex unions as governor. His predecessor, Eliot Spitzer, introduced a bill last year that would have legalized gay marriage, but even as he submitted it, doubted that it would pass. The Democratic-dominated Assembly passed the measure, but the Republican-led Senate has refused to call a vote on it.

Short of an act by the Legislature, the directive ordered by Mr. Paterson is the one of the strongest statements a state can make in favor of gay unions.

“Basically we’ve done everything we can do on marriage legislatively at this point,” said Sean Patrick Maloney, a senior adviser to Mr. Paterson. “But there are tools in our tool kit on the executive side, and this is one.”

The directive cited a Feb. 1 ruling by a State Appellate Court in Rochester that Patricia Martinez, who works at Monroe Community College and who married her partner in Canada, could not be denied health benefits by the college because of New York’s longstanding policy of recognizing marriages performed elsewhere, even if they are not explicitly allowed under New York law. The appeals court said that New York must recognize marriages performed in other states that allow the practice and in countries that permit it, like Canada and Spain.

Monroe County filed an appeal with the state’s highest court, the Court of Appeals, but it was rejected on technical grounds. The county has not decided whether to file another appeal, a county spokesman said on Wednesday. The Court of Appeals has previously ruled that the state’s Constitution did not compel the recognition of same-sex marriages and that it was up to the Legislature to decide whether do so.

Groups that oppose gay marriage said the governor was essentially trying to circumvent the Legislature.

“It’s a perfect example of a governor overstepping his authority and sidestepping the democratic process,” said Brian Raum, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund, a national organization opposed to same-sex marriage. “It’s an issue of public policy that should be decided by the voters.”

Gay rights advocates, however, applauded Mr. Paterson, saying the broad directive would make it clear that gay couples wed in other states were entitled to all of the benefits of marriage in New York and relieve them of the burden of challenging or suing individual agencies.

“He saw no reason to stand in the way of making sure these couples benefit from the rights and protections that come with marriage,” said Susan Sommer, senior counsel for Lambda Legal, a group that advocates for gay rights. “It shouldn’t be the burden of each lesbian or gay couple to have to advocate before an agency every time a new issue comes up.”

In the directive, Mr. Nocenti wrote that state agencies should review all rules and regulations to determine whether they conflict with recognition of same-sex marriages and report back to him by June 30. Mr. Nocenti said that state agencies that did not provide “full faith and credit to same-sex marriages” could be subject to liability.

He said that many changes could be made through internal memos or policy statements, but that regulatory changes might be needed in some cases.

Mr. Nocenti directed agency heads to a list of state regulations and statutes that were likely to need overhaul, including measures affecting a spouse’s ability to collect a deceased spouse’s pension and to continue to use public housing.

In addition to conferring more rights on gay couples, the changes might also require more responsibilities. For example, the order that required certain employees of the executive branch to file financial disclosure documents for their spouses would also apply to gay spouses.

It is less clear what the directive means for state policies that are not enforced by state agencies but by the courts, like those that govern child custody or protect a husband and wife from having to testify against one another about statements they made to each other while married.

Coincidentally, Mr. Nocenti’s directive was dated one day before the California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry. Gay marriage proponents said they expected that ruling, which will take effect in mid-June unless the court grants a stay, will lead some gay couples in New York to marry in California so they can take advantage of the protections under New York law.

Of course, many gay New Yorkers might find Canada to be a more convenient option, some gay rights supporters pointed out. Mr. Nocenti also said that marriages performed in Massachusetts should be recognized in New York, though Massachusetts, unlike California, does not permit gay residents from other states to be married there if their home state prohibits same-sex unions.

While gay rights advocates widely praised the spirit of Mr. Paterson’s policy, some saw more than a little irony in the fact that New York has yet to allow gays to marry.

“If you’re going to treat us as equals, why don’t you just give us the marriage license?” said Alan Van Capelle, executive director of Empire State Pride Agenda. “So this is a temporary but necessary fix for a longer-term problem, which is marriage equality in New York State.”

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approved methods of kissing

The only kiss that counts is the one exchanged by two people who are in love with each other. That is the first essential of the satisfying kiss. For a kiss is really the union of two soul-mates who have come together because they were made for each other. The. reason for this is that the kiss is really the introduction to love, true love. The kiss prepares the participants for the love life of the future. It is the foundation, the starting point of sexual love. And it is for that reason that the manner in which the kiss is performed is so vitally important.

There are still young men extant who believe that babies are the result of kisses Actually! this is a fact! And this condition exists because our parents, in the main, are either ignorant of the methods of explaining sex to their children or are too embarrassed to enlighten them. The result is that their children obtain their sexual information from the streets and alleys or else remain ignorant of it and believe such things as was mentioned above.

KISSES ARE BUT PRELUDES TO LOVE

Men are born to love. Men must always be the one who takes the initiative. A man must be strong, he must be willing, he must be physically able to take care of his charges, He must be the aggressor.

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A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner

In my line of work -- family law -- I often hear the same old refrain when my client explains to me why they split from their significant other. It goes like this, "I guess I didn't really know my partner after all." You might ask, "How could that be?" How could you have an intimate relationship with someone only to wake up one day to find out that the person you fell in love with is not the person they turned out to be?
I believe there are at least a dozen ways to know who someone really is -- indicators -- and if we do an inventory early on, we might stand a better chance of getting to know the real person before we fully commit. The following "observance" suggestions are important ones to make in the early stages of any relationship because each offers insight into habits, patterns, and behaviors. As you ponder these observations, know that there is no right or wrong; it's a matter of acceptance. Sometimes we have to accept quirks and differences as part of the give-and-take process. As you do your assessment, however, the goal is to decide whether or not you can live with or without your real partner.
Here are the dozen indicators:
1. Protocol: First or Second? Whether it's walking through a door, ordering dinner, or taking a bite out of the freshly baked cookies you have made together, if your partner always have to go first this could indicate self- centeredness. Are you willing to always be the giver?
2. Politics: Liberal or Conservative? How your partner views what is right or wrong in a political sense tells you a lot about his deep inner beliefs about society, and ultimately, the way he will approach your relationship issues. Will his views cause a rift in your relationship?
3. Television: Sitcoms or News? If his tendency is to watch "escape" TV programs versus "newsy/event" oriented ones, you can learn a lot about one's intellect. Do you want a mate who can keep up with your every day interest in what is going on in the world or a person you can run away with to avoid the world we live in?
4. Money: Flash or Stash? If your partner throws money around while dating, he might well be reckless with your joint finances when you move in together. Do you want to hook up with a tightwad or splurger?
5. Stress: Freak or Peak? Under Pressure, does he go to pieces or rise to the top of his game? If the answer is the former, every minor incident in your relationship might become a crisis. Do you like a lot of drama?
6. Conversation: About You or Him? As you first get to know each other does he always talk about himself first or you? If he is usually the topic priority do not expect that to change. Can you subordinate yourself to the world revolving around him?
7. Pets: Warm or Aloof? Believe it or not, the way in which he treats animals will not be dissimilar to how he treats your children. How do you want him to treat your loved ones?
8. Communication: Listens or Ignores? If you have something you want to talk about and he tunes you out as a general rule, can you cope?
9. Strangers: Kind or Rude? How he treats those they do not know (waiters, grocery clerks) often reflects on how he will treat people in general, including you, shortly after the glow wears off.
10. Priorities: Family or Work? You can tell almost immediately where a person's preferences lie in terms of what comes first (a family member's illness or a business trip) by the choices he makes when faced with an "either/or" situation. Do you care if he leaves on the next plane to present the such-and-such report if you or the kids have pneumonia?
11. Appearance: Fat or Fit? How he regards his appearance screams loudly about his sense of self-esteem. Those who eat sensibly, workout reasonably, and who take pride in their appearance are the ones who have a great sense of self. Does he really have self-confidence or might it be a front?
12. Faith: Strong or Weak? If you want a peak at his soul, learn more about his spirituality, or lack of it. What a person believes deep down is often what shapes the way in which they conduct their day-to-day affairs. What is your mate's "words to live by?"

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